Community

I’ve been thinking about community and everything that concept implies. Community is going to be the subject of this fall’s theological seminar, and we’ve already started working on that, but I got a real-life example of someone who just makes community happen this week when Cynthia and I were up in Ft Worth, and we went to visit our Albanian friends, Anesti and Rifi.

Which actually always leaves us exhausted because, even though ‘Nesti and Rifi are a few years older than we are, they are full of energy and constantly on the move and always talking and unbelievably gracious hosts—Would you like something to drink? Would you like something to eat? Please sit over here; this chair is much more comfortable. Would you like to lie down and rest—I can turn down the bed for you?

It has been a couple of years since we had seen our friends, and so they showed us their home—which ‘Nesti had remodeled (he’s a plumber) and Rifi had decorated (she works at Target). ‘Nesti then proceeded to tell us about all his neighbors; he and Rifi have only lived in the house about a year, but ‘Nesti knows everyone on the street, and he’s already done free plumbing for several of them.

This is how he described one of those encounters.

“Ah, this man, he is good man, I think, but he knows nothing about the plumbing, you see, so he ask me if I can look at his bathroom. I look and see right away what is the problem; I go and get my tools and (here there are several swift gestures, a big smile, and then arms raised in the air) all done. This man, he want to pay me money, but I say, No, No, we are neighbors. I love you. And he look at me funny, but I tell him I do it for the God and for him.”

‘Nesti sometimes has trouble with the language, but his inability to speak well often means that he cuts to the heart of the matter. Like saying ‘I love you’ instead of ‘I care about you’ or ‘We’re friends’. Which is what community is finally all about. People loving each other and loving ‘the God’, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
 

fr. aidan

The Dumbest Generation

On Wednesday, February 18th, we will have our first-ever Disputation. We will gather in the bookstore at 7pm; we brew up some tea; we’ll spread out some refreshments, and then we will have a real, old-fashioned, face to face, person to person, discussion. And the topic of our discussion will be this winter’s featured book, The Dumbest Generation by Mark Bauerlein. The book is about the impact that technology is having on our culture—and, in particular, on the youngest people in our culture. I thought it would be fun to go ahead and kick off the discussion on-line. This approach may simply prove Bauerlein’s thesis, but I’m hoping it will help us identify some issues that we can zero in on during our time together.

For example, I thought one of the most interesting ideas in the book was Bauerlein’s take on cultural warfare:

Culture wars break down the walls. They don’t stop sectarianism, and they can aggravate group commitments, but they also pierce the insulation of each group. Insiders may grow more polarized, but they have to face the arguments and strategies of outsiders. If they ignore them,keeping to themselves and shoring up turf, not articulating values, they lose the war, for the theater has spread to the public square, and combatants can’t rely on the rhetoric that sufficeswithin familiar niches. (p. 220)

That’s not exactly the way most people feel about cultural warfare—in fact, the recent election was supposed to be all about ‘transcending’ these sorts of divisions. But Bauerlein maintains that cultural warfare is an important democratic dynamic, and he worries that we will soon be incapable of generating that sort of interaction or participating in that kind of conflict.

For example, a week ago, our parish community participated in the annual March For Life through downtown Austin. As the march formed up, a small group of counter-demonstrators appeared, and one of them climbed up on a bike rack and began to address the crowd. But the marchers wouldn’t even let him speak—they began to chant slogans in order to drown him out. When I think of culture wars, I think of this sort of clash—either that or those ridiculous television show where commentators and guests interrupt each other and shout at one another.

Apparently, Bauerlein thinks there is another way. Or maybe these are simply the more ‘exciting’ aspects of what he feels is a valuable cultural dynamic.

So what do ya’ll think?

fr. aidan

Presentation

We’re getting ready for the Feast of the Presentation of Christ Jesus in the Temple. Our featured book this past fall was Churchly Joy, a collection of sermons by Father Sergius Bulgakov. Here’s a passage from Father Bulgakov’s homily for the Presentation:

In the nation chosen by God, a blessed elder had been prepared for the meeting with the Lord. This elder had devoted an entire life of ascesis, prayer, and faith to waiting for this encounter; and now his prayer for his peaceful departure from the world merged with his prayer for this meeting. And this prayer was heard, and it was promised to the righteous Simeon by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord…And having met the God-Man, he took Him in his arms, blessed God, and said “now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace.” The hour of his departure from the world had struck, for his eyes had seen the salvation awaited by him. His farewell hymn was a divinely inspired confession of faith in the Savior, a confession that had never before been pronounced on earth, and, thus, according to the Evangelist, Joseph and His mother marveled at the things Simeon said about him.

I don’t know about you, but writing like that just makes me want to pray. It’s that good.

Speaking of prayer, the other day, I was reading a nice article in the current issue of Orion. Orion is one of the magazines that we keep on hand, so, the next time you are in the store, grab a cup of your favorite tea, pick up the January/February number, and read the piece by Anthony Doerr; it’s called “Am I Still Here? Looking For Validation in Wired World”. Here’s an excerpt:

Yesterday—and this is embarrassing—I checked my email before leaving for work and after I got to work, and I checked it every now and then during the day at work, and, after bicycling home from work, a total distance of two miles, I checked my email again…It’s disconcerting,It’s shameful… but checking email or tinkering around on Facebook or reading snippets about Politician A on Blog B is…about asking the world a very urgent question: Am I still here?

Like I said, the article is quite good—and very funny—but it starting me thinking about how Christians should validate themselves. In his letter to the Colossians, St Paul states that we are “dead” and that our “life is hidden with Christ in God”. So that means we aren’t going to get what we need from a blackberry or an iphone or the internet. Because when we ask that basic human question, “Am I still here?”, we’re not asking primarily about our presence in this world (which is only temporary, anyway); what we are asking about, what we really want to know, is whether or not we are present in the Kingdom.

And the way we gauge that is through prayer. In the Holy Gospels, Christ Jesus says we should “pray always’; in his epistles, St Paul says we should “pray without ceasing.” So I’m thinking that we should be praying at least as often as Mr Doerr checks his email.

fr. aidan

Independent Bookstores

In his recent letter to us, Eugene Peterson had this to say about books and the future of independent Christian bookstores:

I think you have a daunting task: to provide good,
solid books and at the same time keep the book-
store financially viable. American Christians
have horrible taste in literature, maybe especially
religious books. The junk is so prevalent, and the
good stuff usually requires more attention than most
are willing to give it.

He’s certainly right about the junk: All you have to do to verify that observation is stroll through the aisles of any of our local big box bookstores. Fortunately, though, we also don’t have the kind of financial pressure those operations do. We have to make enough money to pay Matt and Rebekah and Vickie, our heroic employees, and we have to make enough money to replenish our stock of good books, but we don’t have to make big profits.

As to whether American Christians have horrible taste in literature: That may, in fact, be true, but, ultimately, I’m just not sure that makes much of a difference when it comes to our mission. Because what we are doing at Christ the Lightgiver is what the Church has been doing for centuries and centuries—preserving the very best from the past, cultivating what is most beautiful in our contemporary culture, and creating a community which encourages learning, artistic expression, thoughtful discussion, and, above all, contemplation. That’s what St Columba was doing on Iona; that’s what St Aidan was doing on Lindisfarne; that’s what St Benedict was doing at Monte Cassino; that’s what St Sabbas did in the Kidron Valley—it’s what the monks are still doing at St Catherine’s on Mt Sinai, and it’s what we are doing at Christ the Lightgiver in Cedar Park, Texas. It is slow, quiet work, but it is also transforming.

So, thanks, Eugene, for taking the time to share your observations with us. We are counting on your prayers, as well.

fr. aidan

a fall into community

This morning I had a temporary loss of gravity and effectively smeared most of my back half on the stairs in our home. Probably I deserved it because I was laughing at my beautiful husband for one of his more ridiculous morning rituals. Typically I would have dusted myself off and gone on with the day, but my aforementioned husband finally made me promise to TELL him when I hurt myself or felt nauseated, because for three years he found out too late about some of my setbacks. (once my decision to keep my ill-feelings to myself led "setting my breakfast free" all over the windshield and dashboard while driving 70 miles per hour on Interstate 35)

It was clear that I had hurt myself, so I waited until I knew Baker was in the hallway and informed him that I had taken a spill ... he ran down the stairs and began quizzing me about broken bones, loss of consciousness and other concerned spouse questions. My fall, much to my dismay, awoke our housemate Crystal and she came down the stairs to check on me as well.

All of this attention made me regret my promise to Baker that I would TELL when I hurt myself or felt nauseated, so I stood up brushed off my backside and assured my kind husband and concerned housemate that I was fine.

The day went on from there, and somewhere along about 1:30 I started freely sharing with anyone within earshot that I had fallen down the stairs and was starting to feel it. Two nurses were around and started asking my questions about body parts I did not even know I had, and one sweet friend, Carol, asked if I needed to go get it checked out that instant to be sure all was well.

All of this attention made me regret having said a word about it to anyone, so I ignored the warning signs and continued on with my chores and tasks without noticing the ever-increasing burning in my lower lumbar. Soon the pain was such that I started feeling nauseated and could not pay attention to what I was doing.

It was clear that I was going to need some kind of medical attention, so we called a dear friend who we knew would work me in for an appointment on Monday afternoon. Baker already has plans on Monday, so we called Lindsey to see if she could cart me around and listen well at the doctor's office. Amazingly Lindsey was free and very willing to help us out. Joe called to see how I was doing and Karen came over to keep me company while I sat around grunting and complaining about "my back, my back".

This evening I am exhausted by all of the attention, but also overwhelmed by the sweetness of the people around me. Everyone was willing to help in whatever way they could ... so as I settle into bed and hopefully drift off to sleep I will dream about the way my community surrounded me today, like the mountains surround Jerusalem. I remember the wings that King David talks about in Psalm 91 that give hope to the ones in pain.

rebekah

It's my day to work in the store.

I’m sitting in the office—which is crammed with all the stuff that it takes to run Christ the Lightgiver—but just over to my right is a spot on the wall where we’ve started posting our Letters from Famous People. As you probably know, we’ve started inviting various people to speak at some of our bookstore events—and we’ve sent some invitations to some really high-caliber folks. A few of them have accepted; a few of them haven’t; a few of them told us that they would have to get back with us. But, so far, those who have declined our invitation have responded with some very nice letters. Rebekah posted part of a note that we received from Wendell Berry a couple of weeks ago. And just this past week we got a long, personal letter from Eugene Peterson explained why he won’t be able to stop by the store this summer (I’ll share some of that letter with you in another entry).

So what makes us think that a tiny little independent operation like Christ the Lightgiver could possibly get people like Wendell Berry and Eugene Peterson to show up for a speaking engagement?

Because we believe in the Norman Wilson principle. Norman was one of my father’s high school buddies. This was back in the late 1940’s in Farmersville, Texas, so there were only, like, 25 people in my father’s graduating class, and Norman was, by far, the shortest. But one day this new girl moved to town; she was really tall and really good-looking, and the first day she showed up at school, my father and Norman and a few of their other friends just happened to be standing out on the front steps of the building. The young lady walked by; the young men stood there, admiring her, but, then, Norman suddenly walked away. My father asked him where he was going. Norman turned, and, with a big grin on his face, said, “I’m gonna find me a step ladder and ask her for a date.”

I actually don’t know if Norman ever went on that date, but we approach our potential speakers the very same way: we just get out our step ladder and crawl up there and ask them if they’ll join us at the best bookstore in Central Texas. So the next time you’re in the store, ask to go back in the office and check out the Letters from Famous People. You’ll be amazed at the folks who’ve been corresponding with us—and, who knows? They may still end up speaking at one of our events.

fr. aidan

culture of tea

I remember sipping black tea out of a tiny shot glass in Muhammad's Persian Carpet Gallery in Old City Jerusalem. My friend Michael and I sat with our knees squeezed in tight around our stools for the "great gallery" was no more than six feet wide and eight feet deep.

Along with us was Muhammad, the shopkeeper and Haans, a Czech tourist whose English was really bad. Every color of fabric you can imagine stacked all around us in twelve-foot high towers leaning in as if to listen to our conversation about land, love and politics. Above our heads hanging from the twenty foot ceiling were thick chains adorned with jewelry, oil lamps and pitchers. Everything metal would click, clank every few seconds which gave the feeling of being aboard an enormous yacht; the thousands of people swarming along the souk in black, blue and white completed the experience, almost making the three visitors seasick.

The tea was hot and sweet with three twigs of mint stems poked sideways into the glass floating capsized in the clear cup. About an hour later Michael bought a Persian rug that weighed half as much as I did, and Haans went on to find his wife and children somewhere among the millions.

Muhammad invited us to stay for a second round of tea. We gladly accepted this small delight and ate greedily cubed sweets that came along with the tea. We continued to talk on about our families and cultures. Once our glasses were empty the little shopkeeper asked us to share a third cup of tea with him that evening in his home.

Initially the tea was Muhammad's thanks for coming to rest awhile with him, or maybe a courtship of us as his customers. The second cup of tea was for the hospitality of friendship and the standing offer for tea anytime we were in the Old City again. The third cup of tea was like a deeper contract of kinship. I feel sure that Muhammad would recognize me now, ten years later if I stopped at the Persian Carpet Gallery.

It makes me happy that we offer tea to our friends when they stop in to the store. I am glad that we even offer it in a clear glass with plenty of sweet. Sometimes people cannot accept this free gift ... they are afraid of committing to stay, they think there is some hidden cost, they feel awkward receiving a gift from a complete stranger. Maybe they are wondering about sanitation or or just had a cup of coffee in car.

Eventually I hope people will stop in for just a visit and a cup of tea. No need to worry about what gift they need to give to their brother, or what version of the Bible to read. Next time you are around, come in and sit for awhile; enter our culture of tea.

rebekah

Sophie Scholl

So we had our first Movie Night this past week at Christ the Lightgiver.

We screened the 2005 Indie film "Sophie Scholl: The Final Days", and we had a nice turn-out with tea, popcorn, chips, and cookies--and Chris Lewis even turned up with Sour Skittles. Anyway, we had gone partners with Rigel Thurston on a new projector and screen and speakers, and the set-up was looking really impressive until we popped the DVD into the computer and nothing happened. Fortunately, the room was full of tech people, so Baker Galloway and Father Deacon Basil and Winston Chapman and Rebekah Galloway (who isn't a tech person, but she was helping out anyway) went to work and rigged up some sort of arrangement which appeared to involve the store's computer and several extension cords and the Exit Sign over the door and the Christmas lights that we had left up outside. When they fired it up, there weren't any sparks, and none of the lights in the neighborhood appeared to flicker or go dim, so it all turned out well.

Unfortunately, by then, it was almost 7:45, and the movie was two hours long, so, by the time it was over, it was pretty late, and we weren't able to have our discussion. Which was a bummer until the other day when Rebekah was bugging me about getting started on this blog, and it occurred to me that we could have our discussion here at Preparing For Illumination--and this won't even require all the crawling around under the furniture that we had to go through in order to get the movie started. So, here are my observations, and I hope that all you folks who were with us on Wednesday night--or who wanted to be with us on Wednesday night--will weigh in.

I thought that one of the most effective aspects of the movie was the fact that, while the heroine's moral choices were clear, the context in which she made them was very murky. Her finance, for example, was an officer in the German Army and, apparently, a loyal Nazi--yet she clearly loved him and hoped to spend the rest of her life with him. Several of the male conspirators had also served in the armed forces--and Sophie herself had once been part of a Nazi youth organization. Our view of Nazi Germany is often pretty black and white--implying that, if we had lived back then, we would have know precisely what to do. But the fact that the heroine was very much a part of German society made her choices even more compelling.

I also thought there were profound parallels between the ways in which the Nazis went about their genocidal work and the ways in which our society deals with abortion. When Sophie talked about the fact that mentally challenged children were being killed, and when her brother, Hans, talked about the fact that he had witnessed German soldiers killing women and children, the response from the authorities was that these were just rumors and lies or that these people were better off dead. In other words, the Nazis redefined what it meant to be human, and they relied on the fact that few people had actually witnessed the atrocities they were committing. And it works that way in our culture in regards to abortion--because we do not see unborn children being killed, and because we have labeled these children as something less than human, then we can go on with our lives while millions of unborn children are put to death. Of course, viewing this movie the week before our participation in the Annual March For Life through downtown Austin, and the week when our new president has overturned the Mexico City Policy and has promised to promote abortions in other, more dramatic ways has kept all this front and center for me.

Cinematically, I loved the film's spare qualities and the use of sunlight as a powerful symbol. I thought the attempt at a happy ending--or, at least, a significant ending--was really forced, though. The film would have been much more forceful had it ended with the breath-taking execution scene.

Those are my thoughts--at least at this point. You guys let me know what you think and what we can do to make our next movie night even better (though, I'm sorry, Chris, I'm not endorsing Sour Skittles).

fr. aidan

Wendell Berry

We invited Mr. Wendell Berry of Kentucky to come to visit our store and speak to us sometime soon. We wrote the letter in early December and received this as the bulk of his response back, dated December 23, 2008.

Thank you for your very kind letter. I am honored of course by your wish to have me come down and speak, and I am sorry to say that it is very unlikely that I will be able to accept in the foreseeable future. Because I am needing increasingly to be at work here at home, I am now traveling only to help out two or three causes that I have been long committed to.

Yours sincerely,
Wendell Berry

Now it is unlikely that we will see Mr. Berry anytime soon, but somehow it is encourage to know he knows about us and we know about him.

smoking

In college I was a little more than a social smoker. I stopped smoking cigarettes when I started working with high school drop outs who needed to quit worse than I did. I didn't want to be like my eighth grade P.A.L. teacher who always harped on “the dangers of smoking” but smelled like a pack a day. I was also outside the stresses of University life, so I did not think much about it.

When I was a full-time student a year later I began to smoke a beautiful pipe that my boyfriend gave to me for Christmas. Dad really let me have it when he found out I was smoking a pipe. I was so ashamed that I stopped again.

Since then I smokes about once a year, usually with John or Lindsey. Baker knows I used to smoke and doesn't seem to mind too much when I have a drag.

I woke up this morning to one of those clear crisp days when you know it is December. I had a bit of a cough and a scratchy throat and the tea kettle was singing its mournful hymn and I wished I had a cigarette. Not just any cancer stick, but an American Spirit ... I even giggled thinking about it.

Soon I was reminded of all the times when I rolled my eyes at my friends who were smoking or coughed dramatically in the direction of strangers who I thought needed to quit. Then the one line from the last section of St Ephraim's three stanza prayer “grant me to see my own sins and not condemn my brother” floated into my head. Have I only been awake for 30 minutes and already messed up?

If I kept always a memory of the joy smoking provided me, I would not be so judgmental of folks who just cannot seem to quit. Should I be mindful of the litany of sins that I cannot seem to conquer I might be a bit more gracious to my brother man.

rebekah